In the Peaceful Mind and Self Obstinance Mother and Child Story in Muslim and Buddhist Polygamy Families

Tradition and religion are often, on the one hand, used to legitimize conditions that are difficult for women, but on the other hand also offer values that elevate women's dignity and position, including in the case of polygamy. Throughout history many have spoken of the various negative consequences economically, psychologically, and socially experienced by children and wives in polygamous families. But in general the narrative positions women as victims so that it does not provide a perspective of empowered women who have the power to manage their family conflicts by showing the quality of their leadership in the family and community. With content analysis, this paper examines women's biographical novels from two different religious and social backgrounds. With content analysis, this paper examines women's biographical novels from two different religious and social backgrounds. First, a collection of stories Menunggu Papa: Kisah Gadis Kecil yang Akhirnya Berdamai dengan Dirinya, which is a collection of inspiring stories based on the autobiography of Yanah Sucintani, which tells the inner journey of a child from a Chinese-Buddhist family whose father practices polygamy. Second, the novel titled Athirah by Alberthiene Endah, which is a biography of Jusuf Kalla, which tells the story of the mother's leadership in a polygamous family set in the Muslim-Bugis-Makassar society. This study has important meaning in encouraging a positive image of women as whole human beings, developing personally and contributing to society. This positive role needs to be raised more especially as a counter culture of women's representation in the world of entertainment and popular culture which widely accommodates the female stereotype. Both of these inspirational stories teach that indeed the financial independence of a polygamous mother is the initial way to be able to rule over herself and her children, but it requires persistent spirituality to be able to establish themselves as wives and mothers and lay the foundation of mentality for their children.


Introduction
The quote above shows two sides of the psychological image of a woman living in a polygamous family.On the one hand, she suffered, but on the other hand she appeared as a formidable person facing the waves of life.Her strength is very imprinted in the minds of her children, so that later inspired the publication of a book that tells the story of her life, Athirah (2013).Although titled Athirah, this life story is told from the point of view of her son, Jusuf Kalla, and written by a writer outside their family, namely Alberthiene Endah.Although it contains a life journey, this book is not labeled a biography, but rather a Novel yang Terinspirasi Kisah Jusuf Kalla dan Ibunda.
The psychological image of women living in polygamous families also dominates the book Menunggu Papa: Kisah Gadis Kecil yang Akhirnya Berdamai dengan Dirinya (2015).The title implies that this book contains the narrative of a child related to the relationship with her father.The book written by Yanah Sucintani is a journey of life of the author in a polygamous family, which causes the burden of psychological traumas carried to adulthood.The author's background as a hypnotherapy practitioner and temple administrator greatly influences the dynamics of her life's journey in overcoming these traumas.
This paper examines the experience of women in polygamous families, both in their positions as wives, mothers, or children, as narrated in Menunggu Papa: Kisah Gadis Kecil yang Akhirnya Berdamai dengan Dirinya and Athirah.It is undeniable that although polygamy has become a historical part of human civilization, whatever its background and excuses, polygamy in general places psychological, social, and economic pressure on women.Although most traditions and religions do not explicitly prohibit polygamy, there are aspects of the normative approach that emphasize self-control to avoid polygamy, as suggested by Kustiani (2012).Therefore, it is interesting to study more deeply, how the impact of polygamy on women with their respective backgrounds and positions in the family and community.Then how do women negotiate with the situation.In this case, how women can show their power or agency, so they can transform the conflict, both personally and socially.
This research is a qualitative descriptive study using qualitative content analysis.In qualitative content analysis, narrative analysis focuses on analyzing formal structures from a narrative perspective.Nararatology helps to understand, analyze and evaluate narratives.However, the textual description produced with the help of this theory cannot be considered the only adequate description.Different descriptions might be produced using the same concepts differently and with emphasis on other aspects of the text.This variation of analysis, description, and interpretation is unavoidable because reading is basically a subjective activity.Bal (2017: 4) calls it a form of "democratic use of theory", which is intersubjective.

Research Methods
The methodology of this research paper is literature review.Literature reviews provide a framework for relating new and previous evidence, and provide an indication of whether progress has been made from the results of research through extensive research and interpretation of results from the literature related to a particular topic.to identify issues identified by the search.and a study of this systematic analysis of relevant literature following the approach (Randolph, 2009).Articles used are focused on original empirical research articles or research articles containing results of actual observations or experiments.

Result and Discussion
Polygamy discourse re-emerged at the time of the rise of Islam in the 1990s.With a focus on giving a big influence on women, in that period the process of Islamization became increasingly gendered (Izharudin, 2017: 3).One form of strengthening piety in this gendered public sphere is the national debate about polygamy.This gendered character is represented in cultural practices, including films, which present more typologies and ideals related to gender norms than authentic descriptions of gender itself.As a result, people are encouraged to accept various gender constructions (Sears, 1996in Izharudin, 2017: 3).
Izharuddin (2017: 12) also underlines the commodification in the national debate process on the issue of polygamy which is encoded in various popular audio and visual media.For example, in the film "Ayat-Ayat Cinta" polemic polygamy comes with a "narrative image", including soundtracks, promotions, and movie posters.When the polygamy dilemma arises, between the fear of hurting the feelings of the wife and the desire to marry another woman on the pretext of saving the woman's life, the Qur'anic verse about polygamy is raised through the friend of the main character, namely polygamy can only be done if it can apply justice to all.Emotions in this dilemma were strengthened by the soundtrack of a film that was seriously worked on by a top pop songwriter in the national music industry.In this case, Izharuddin (2017: 31) reminded that the representation of Islamic values in the cinematic world cannot be separated from its nature as a product of commercial pop culture whose aim is to pursue profits which affect the authenticity of Muslim representation and their spiritual life.
Polygamy polemics that are increasingly open after 1998 can be witnessed through the intertextual relations of Islamic films.The film "Ayat-Ayat Cinta", on the one hand, encourages the birth of a genre of similar films, films that provide justification for the occurrence of polygamy cases with all its dramaticism.On the other hand, other films that criticize polygamy also appear in response to the justification, one of which is "Mengaku Rasul".This film no longer shows the dramatization of the justification of polygamy.However, it sees polygamy as a deviant act, behavior that is basically motivated by excessive sexual drive and masculinity of Muslims (Izharuddin, 2017: 160).The ugliness of polygamy in this film is underlined with a bad ending for the culprit, killed by one of his wives.
The appeal of the elements of the story about polygamy in the film as described above is generally developed from novel narrative elements.Wiyatmi (2008) examined polygamy in the perspective of female writers in modern Indonesian novels.Based on a study of novels by female authors depicting the phenomenon of polygamy, namely Biru by Fira Basuki, Geni Jora, Perempuan Berkalung Surban by Abidah El-khaileqy, and Dadaism by Dewi Sartika, she saw three patterns of polygamy: carried out openly, the wife is forced to give permission, and it is done clandestinely.In addition, there are variations in women's literary views on polygamy: total rejection, acceptance as an emergency, and allow it.This attitude is influenced by the feminist perspective of each author.
The author's social context is an important aspect that forms the background of the world view reflected in literary works.Polygamy is not only a picture of the Muslim community, but also the Chinese community in the archipelago (Woodrich, 2017: 156).In Lie Kim Hok's writing, Indonesian Chinese proto-feminist writer Woodrich sees two sides NYANA DASSANA, Jurnal Penelitian Pendidikan Sosial Keagamaan of women's power hitting the walls of tradition that underlie Liem Kim Hok's authorship, namely Sundanese and Chinese culture.Although in his work, Sair Tjerita Siti Akbari, Siti Akbari appears as a powerful female figure disguised as a man.He sticks out to be a hero after winning the battle, but instead he gives power to his husband and brother.In fact, he gave her husband a second wife, Siti Abian (p.161).Thus, in the end women are considered to be successful because they return to their roles in accordance with their "nature", to return to taking care of their families and giving state affairs to men.His position as a successful wife was also shown by giving happiness to men through polygamy.After all, it could be said that the spirit of Lie's soul far surpassed his time by displaying the might of women in the midst of difficult conditions.In many ways, stereotypes about the weakness of women are self-defeating by the emergence of leadership qualities and the strength of women in difficult conditions or crises.Lie himself was inspired by his wife, Pek Nio, who played a big role when Lie was very sad because of the loss of family members and the financial crisis.The obstinacy of the female character is also the theme of the Athirah and Waiting Papa story that will be discussed in this paper, especially the struggle in the family of polygamy.

The Saga of Athirah's Strength
"I knew that Emma would be strong.Because, there is a saga of truly awesome power in my mother's life.I have to tell that story so you understand how Emma's life began.A story of the past that was never recorded by my eyes, but very much in control of my life."(Endah, 2013: 29).
Thus the narrator reveals the point of his narration in Athirah, namely the life of Emma from the view of a child, Jusuf, who sees the life force of the mother throughout her life.However, the story he told was not only what was witnessed in his life, but long before he was present in the life of his mother, Emma."In fact the story of polygamy has happened in Emma's life.In fact, the history of polygamy that drove him is present in the world.Emma was born from the womb of the fourth wife of a male figure from Bukaka, my grandfather "(p.30).Emma had lived in a polygamous family as soon as she was born into the world, long before her husband took her as his second wife.Previously, his mother, Mak Kerra, received a cynical view of people for being honey, as the fourth wife, now she also did not escape the pressure of living in polygamy.Wholeheartedly, Mak Kera hopes that "may her children never come into contact with polygamy" (p.38), do not live in "a sharp dismal life" (p.34) because they become "wives who bear the anguish" (p.37).However, it turns out that the sky overhears the curses of other wives who also suffer from Mak Kerra, "Your baby will no more be just a poor child than the umpteenth wife!" (P.36).
The feeling of being a failed wife surrounded Emma's mind.It had never occurred to her to share her husband like Mak Kerra, her mother.Not only received sharp scrutiny from the surrounding community, Emma also received an invective vicious letter which discredited her position because her family remained the concern of her husband who had a new family."It's just that Emma did not expect in life to encounter this kind of thing.Does this mean that Emma has lost, Jusuf?"(Pp.56; 63).However, Emma did not completely give up on the destiny of life, in the cycle of suffering between being a honey or a co-wife (menjadi madu atau dimadu) and continually filling the days by weeping for herself (p.71).In time, as the name suggests, Athirah, he rose to bring glory to himself, his family and society.Through "heavy maturity" (p.48), Emma remains a "light-lighter" (p.39).Emma struggles with her children to heal wounds and regain inner peace.But in 1958 I was struggling to interpret peace ... We, Emma, me, and my siblings seemed to have recovered from the shock of the previous year and could begin to live the day without significant problems.(p.69) "So, Jusuf," Emma smiled, "let's get up.We remove the sadness and weight from our hearts.Think of your father as a 'blunder' (khilaf).But, we don't need to ruin our lives."(P.131).
Sincerity made Emma go through lighter days every time her husband left home for his new family.In fact, Emma began to develop her own business, selling diamonds and silk fabrics.He also developed an inter-city transportation business.However, Emma acknowledged that her business was a form of escape, "Jusuf, Emma needs to throw away her mind.It's not good if Emma only thinks of you.Emma has to run away from her free time for creative things," she said (p 135)."After all, it was a good escape because Emma increasingly had financial independence so that she was not provoked by outsiders to cause financial problems with her husband."Jusuf recalled.With a "carefree and radiant" disposition, Emma "tried to erase the view of the poor person".Sincerity leads her "to move from feeling defeated"."Emma learned to organize herself not as a lost person, but to surrender.And no one succumbed to anger.She was completely resigned" (p.138).
Emma has a clear vision of her life and family.With a steady, she expanded her business network to other cities and separated her business from her husband.This is what later became her family's savior.When her husband's business was hit by an economic crisis, Emma helped her husband from the savings of her personal business.She has also prepared financial support for her children's future plans.In addition to saving her family, Emma's resurgence also affected the wider community, for example the development of silk fabric crafters in Sengkang.Beyond the problem of money, Emma gave life lessons directly to the children and those around her about the spirit of life, rising from adversity, "Trading became the boat of her resurrection" (p.240).This value became the basic capital for his son, Jusuf Kalla, who would later develop as a large national entrepreneur.Her decision to do her own business was carried out with a blob of enthusiasm.I found Emma's exceptional value.How the feeling of being kicked out and marginalized, she magically changed into her multiplied zeal, which actually made her step forward.That is the energy of women who are hurt!Emma made me believe, there is nothing you can do to belittle women.Their rising spirits can never be imagined in magnitude (p.162).
The fighting spirit exemplified directly by Emma was not only continued by her son, but also her daughter, Nur.Emma's independence and courage allowed her to have insights far beyond her comfort zone.Nur took the initiative to move to Jakarta by bringing her younger sister, Halim, who was only five years old.Emma and her husband were open and supportive of Nur's wishes.On the other hand, another daughter, Zohra, can also learn very well from Emma's attitude in influencing her polygamous family ark.And, you see how women have an extraordinary ability to rise.See the business.You know that her black leather bag is fulled with money.Emma also continued to buy gold bars.She did not fall.I'm amazed at her. (p.265) Despite being hurt, Emma continues to maintain the authority of the father in front of her children.Thus, children continue to live the values of birrul walidain or 'filial piety' ( 'Afifah, 2015).Their Father still acts as a family leader who directs the way for his children.However, father's authority often makes it difficult for children to open up.This makes Emma hold the role of family director in many ways, especially her children's match.This positive attitude of Mother has a big influence on maintaining inter-family harmony, including with the new family of the father so they are willing to share in the final moments of their father's life.The ability to deal with difficult situations and reduce this conflict also later became capital for Jusuf Kalla's role in the national political sphere.NYANA DASSANA, Jurnal Penelitian Pendidikan Sosial Keagamaan Emma's story in Athirah's novel shows polygamy being a cycle of suffering for the family that experiences it, especially for the wife.Despite bringing suffering, this culture continues to roll in the name of religion and tradition.However, women can not only dissolve in the fate they endure.She can change this crisis condition into a transformation in her life so that she can continue to contribute positively to her family and community.The ability to manage conflict is also an important provision for children not to inherit revenge on life, but the spirit to rise from adversity.

Yanah Self Reconstruction
"Knowing others is wise and knowing yourself is enlightened," said Adi W. Gunawan in his foreword of Menunggu Papa: Kisah Gadis Kecil yang Akhirnya Berdamai dengan Dirinya by Yanah Sucintani.This introduction becomes an entry point into inspirational stories that are excavated based on the journey of Yanah Sucintani, which is referred to as Yanah or Wawa.The woman born in 1971 has a Chinese-Betawi background.The tradition of polygamy and the position of women in their cultural settings greatly influenced her personality.Hanah felt various psychological effects as a child of a polygamous family, the figure of a child from a second wife.The story told in this book is an attempt to unravel the maze of her subconscious memory through the mind technology she learned to become a developing person.
When Yanah's mother was very young, 16 years old, the polygamy tradition was still widely practiced among the Chinese-Betawi circles despite causing social pressure, especially for the wife who became the second wife, "Well, it's known, in the past Chinese men often had many wives" ( p. 26).Various negative stereotypes also became the label of his second wife and family, for example as materialistic or pengeretan (blackmailer).On the one hand, this label gives a great deal of life pressure and on the one hand encourages, even forces, the family of the second wife to be more financially independent because often cannot expect great or fair attention from her husband.Various financial, economic, psychological, and social pressures experienced by wives are often acted on by their wives to their children so that, consciously or not, cause prolonged trauma.Children who experience trauma from polygamy families will also continue the cycle of suffering by applying the wrong parenting to their children later as a form of negative self defense mechanism.
One of the effects felt by Yanah is his character as a person who is bored, which then tends to shift into a lazy attitude to do anything and spend time daydreaming or imagining (p. 7).Through dialogue with herself, Yanah finally learned the background of her attitude.In her childhood, she often waited for her father in front of the house for days because her father did not live with her.She only felt happy when her father finally came because it was at that moment that she felt a complete love.Realizing this, she controlled the growing boredom by "correcting" her childhood memory.In her mind training, she invited little Yanah to remain happy even though her father had not yet come.She instilled a sense of respect for herself as a child who is loved by her parents.Thus, Yanah feels that she can play an optimal role in the family and community.
In playing a role in the family, Yanah also felt hesitant because she felt she did not have a model of how a wife and mother should play a role, because her polygamous family life model used to be a separate life.As a result, she had felt immersed in busyness as a housewife and social activist, "super mom complex" or in Yanah, "mother-wife stress syndrome".Another result, she became a possessive wife to her husband and possessive mother, especially to her son.
Apparently the experience of seeing papa, who in my opinion is not the type of a good husband because of lack of attention to his two wives, so made an impression in my memory.I often began to think negatively of men, generalizing all men as liars!Even my husband, son, and ritual teacher I know very well sometimes I consider the same as men in general.(pp. 19-20).
This awareness brings effort to self transformation."Through mind technology training from a mind expert, my knowledge has been opened which has not been accurate.I began to reform the mindset about married life and learned about the 'language of love'."(P.20).Thus, Yanah increasingly feels able to control negative emotions that still often arise.When angry, he will immediately change his tone in a positive manner and dialogue with himself, "Is this anger carried away because of past emotional experiences, times to come, or now?" Various negative emotions carried into adulthood because of the memory of wounds as a manifestation of feelings of exclusion and rebellion against family conditions that can not be accepted."As children, we do not ask to be born in this condition.It's okay, but it feels like you don't have it.There is a feeling of anger and hatred for having a daddy who ignores us."This feeling of love that turns into hate toward his father develops because even though the mother asks her children to continue to respect the father, the children are often the target of venting his mother's pent-up venting. .Little Yanah is often confined in a room by her mother simply because her mother is upset because she often asks the whereabouts of her father and her face is similar to her father (p.68).This punishment brought psychological trauma until Yanah became an adult.To overcome this, Yanah was greatly assisted by monks, her spiritual guides in the monastery, where Yanah was active as a caretaker.The values of Buddhism helped Yanah to release those negative feelings and eventually forgive her parents.
However, maintaining hatred is the same as holding embers that we are unwittingly ready to burn ourselves.Therefore I try to get out of the circle of positiveness.I'm trying to be nice though realize will never be able to change their glasses.However, at the very least, I was not bothered by the glasses they wore.(pp. 43-44).
Thus with the view of metta (love), Yanah forgives those around her, both her parents, her family, friends in her organization, the wider community, even herself.As the Buddha said, "Hatred will never end if it is rewarded with hatred.Hatred will end when rewarded with love "(p.78).Yanah also acknowledged sincerely, "Our understanding of religious teachings also influences life, thus defeating our feelings for the poor.We have forgotten the pain of being rejected by Dad "(p.30)

The Way to the Peaceful Self
The life of polygamy, although shared by culture and religion experienced by Jusuf and Yanah's mothers, in fact still causes psychological trauma, both for the wife who is the mother of the children, and even more so for her children.In a culture of patriarchal masculinity that takes refuge in any religion or tradition, women are born as human beings under the authority of men.They are demanded by the norms of politeness, obedience, honesty, loyalty, and various duties as a wife and mother.In a patriarchal system of society, these norms inevitably become the value of self-status and hence become the standard of what is the value of "happiness", especially for those born as women.Injustice in the patriarchal world that is often felt by women is often the absence of male figures as fathers, NYANA DASSANA, Jurnal Penelitian Pendidikan Sosial Keagamaan as women as mothers.Especially in the practice of life in society, men have great power over the body of the wife but not vice versa.Self-identity as a woman, as an existential agent, in her life journey in a patriarchal society will often be sublimated in the pull between the self-image of the wife and as a mother.As a creature that seeks happiness, often the choice as a mother becomes the choice in interpreting a happy life.This road to choosing happiness requires that a person be able to make peace with the trauma she is experiencing.In Emma Athirah it is clear that "How the feeling of being kicked out and marginalized, she magically changed into her multiplied zeal, which actually made her step forward.That is the energy of women who are hurt!"All these statements explain that the trauma caused by the life of polygamy cannot be avoided or eliminated from the figure of a woman like Athirah in this patriarchal world.In this case Athirah chose to sublimate the higher meaning of spirituality over the norm she believed in, namely submission to destiny, pasrah [...] By being "cheerful and shining", [...] "trying to eradicate people's pity views".Sincerity [which] brought her "moved from his defeat"."Emma learned to organize herself not as a lost person, but to surrender.And no one succumbed to anger.She was completely resigned" (p.138).
Path selection Athirah peace with yourself style is perhaps did not get the meaning of happiness are essential if viewed from the perspective of the loss of selfhood as being an autonomous agency apart from the relationship values in her neighborhood.However, it must be remembered that it is precisely in the network of value systems in societies where humans are present that the power of "meaning" comes into being including what is the meaning of "happiness".By upholding the values of religion and society, namely appropriateness, obedience, honesty, loyalty, and various duties as a wife as well as a mother for her children, this female figure can be seen to have achieved true "happiness".Therefore, Athirah's choice with her children to be free from the power of financial dependency from her husband is a wise preliminary step to be able to break the "[...] the destiny of life, in the cycle of suffering between being a honey or a co-wife ( be honey or combined) and continuously filling the days by weeping for herself "(p.71) with her children.Emma struggled "[...] to heal wounds and regain inner peace."Jusuf recalled that Emma was acknowledged that her business was a form of escape."Jusuf, Emma needs to throw away her mind.It's not good if Emma only thinks of you.Emma has to run away from her free time for creative things," she said (p. 135)."After all, it was a good escape because Emma increasingly had financial independence so that she was not provoked by outsiders to cause financial problems with her husband."Jusuf remembered.
Here it appears that in addition to continuing to uphold the values of virtue in her patriarchal world by way of resignation without anger, in accordance with the teachings of her religion, Athirah's efforts to achieve happiness with her children can only be achieved if her material world independence can be separated from her husband's dependence and the husband's family.Even so, there is a price to pay that [...] the father's authority often makes it difficult for [Athirah] children to open up.Although Athirah always tries to place the father figure in the order of values that exists in society and religion.This is because the power of the mother is more real and dominating than the father who is not much present in the life of the child, in addition to making the mother sad.However, this is different from the experience of Yanah and her mother.Athirah's self defense mechanism may be said not too negative and this attitude is transmitted to her children so it is not surprising that the curse of polygamy begins to break and it starts with Jusuf.
Spiritual success supported by better economic independence in the Athirah story was not experienced by Yanah's mother.As with Athirah, the economic life of Ms. Yanah has indeed been independent, but still always in shortcomings.Meanwhile, all psychological, social and cultural pressure as a second wife in the Chinese-Betawi community is more complex than Athirah's polygamous world in a relatively more homogeneous (Bugis Islam) society.Unlike Athirah, which is closer to religious and social values, the Chinese-Betawi community of Yanah in the metropolitan city looks far from religious values and traditional Chinese values (generally Confucianism and Buddhism syncretism).With the figure of a father who does not care about the results of his love and mothers who struggle for world life for their children without the aim of a more transcendent life, make Yanah lose the ideal figure of motherhood and fatherhood.It can be emphasized here that Yanah's more traumatic life from Athirah and her son was based on the absence of Chinese cultural or religious values as more intrinsic values in life.Revenge for an unhappy life seems more emphasized on the achievement of an independent and successful economy.However, this only hoarded psychological trauma to her mother and was consciously or unconsciously transmitted to Yanah and subsequently to Yanah's children.
To achieve inner peace and happiness that is in accordance with the rationality of Yanah, which is not raised in values or norms that have been standardized both from religion and existing norms of the surrounding community, except for the negative stereotype values that exist -Yanah seeks peace and happiness inward the root of her psychological self.The encounter with Buddhist teachings, which emphasizes meditation and pursues psychological roots in the karmic rationality of life in one's consciousness, is felt to be able to free Yanah from the power of negative 'awareness and behavior' which often appears to disturb Yanah's inner peace.The power of negative trauma was realized by Yanah fostered from her family's polygamous life which can be said to be no peace and happiness.
The absence of a relatively clearer normative value as in Athirah's strong culture in the Bugis Islamic tradition, the harshness of life in the Capital city makes the lack of clarity the highest meaning of happiness in life as a woman, a wife and mother for children in the person of Yanah and her mother.Negative traumatic feelings by a life full of betrayal of the values of propriety, obedience, honesty, loyalty, and various duties as a wife as well as a mother for children in women in the community and family are more often experienced in the life of Yanah than Jusuf.The figure of a mother such as Athirah and Jusuf's grandmother who was also tough was not present in Yanah's mother.Life for Yanah and her mother confirms the Buddhist teaching that life is suffering (Dukkha) so that the Buddha's path of the four Noble Truths about Dukkha and the Eight Noble Paths liberated from Dukkha feels more appropriate for a figure like Yanah.

Conclusion
In theological perspective the reader can wonder whether Athirah's escapism away from inner conflict through the achievement of success over the material world is the main thing in getting the meaning of happiness for herself and her children in the eyes of her God?Will inner surrender to Divine destiny, which is far from anger, be achieved only if the fullness of the material world is fulfilled?What if Athirah was in a situation like Yanah's mother whose economy was insufficient?Are the values that Athirah (and for Jusuf) stand for the values of propriety, obedience, honesty, loyalty, and various duties as a wife and mother as a measure and purpose of happiness itself?What about Yanah, not as Jusuf who found the figure of his mother and grandmother, who experienced these values are always betrayed in the reality of her mother's life?What is the difference between Athirah and her NYANA DASSANA, Jurnal Penelitian Pendidikan Sosial Keagamaan children who interpret God's destiny in polygamy life and Yanah who finds karma from her mother's polygamous life?
Certainly, there are still many theological questions that can be debated here if we compare what happens in Muslim and Buddhist women who are polygamy in the context of Athirah and Yanah.However, there is one certainty of the message in the story or saga of these two families that the life of polygamy is not as beautiful as in the eyes of the husband who often underlies only love and physical lust.Negative traumatic life is often felt by the figure of his wife and mother of children from the results of polygamy marriages and can even be transmitted to the psychological of their children.
Athirah, as a female figure, finds the path of the power of peace and happiness by achieving the highest meaning of religious values and Buginese society in submission to the divine destiny.Athirah frees herself and her children from anger over the traumatic situation of polygamy family life through the success of worldly material independence and resignation to accepting his life situation as a secret of God's destiny.While Yanah lives in a situation that is far from the presence of noble values find the answer to achieve happiness and peace with a more reflective and meditative life for the karma that she does by pursuing the teachings of the Buddha.Yanah tried to regain herself from the traumatic power of karma she experienced that originated from her mother's polygamous life.Worldly material success in the context of Yanah's life does not guarantee the reawakening of Yanah's highest consciousness free from his karma.One thing in common in overcoming this trauma, both Yanah and Athirah took the attitude to accept the situation and try to forgive and even forget the things that are the seeds of trauma that occur in the lives of polygamous families.